


heaven in you

by ophelialilies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fate, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Soulmates, ambiguous retro setting, two boys in love but they don't realise it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24804832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophelialilies/pseuds/ophelialilies
Summary: Donghyuck has been Renjun’s best friend since they were small, and he’d managed to never let his feelings get in the way. that is, until this evening, now that Donghyuck looks as if he were made as much for the summertime as the sun itself.(alternatively, one particular trip to the beach results in more than Renjun could ever have imagined)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 22
Kudos: 122





	heaven in you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [damnneovelvet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnneovelvet/gifts).



> for haru. happy birthday my love ♡ you are so dear to me, and i hope this small work can attest to that at least to some degree. thank you for being such a wonderful friend, the first person i met in this fandom and someone who very quickly became a very important person in my life. i hope you have a lovely day, you deserve that and much more! 🦋
> 
> to everyone else, i hope you enjoy this story! it's very dear to me for many reasons, and also my first renhyuck fic! thank you so much to the wonderful [macka](https://twitter.com/fiddlestyyx) for beta-ing this story! ti amo tanto, tesoro.
> 
> i'll see you at the end, happy reading 🌷

Despite the autumn sun setting on a cold afternoon, everything looks more colourful than Renjun remembers. As they speed down the highway, Donghyuck behind the wheel of his mother’s old chevrolet, Renjun watches the colours dance on the horizon; soft hues of blue and pink blending to make lilac and not showing any sign of disappearing soon despite the hour. For a moment it almost feels like summer, the way the sun stays in the sky for longer, pushing closer toward the hours that belong solely to the moon.

“What are you thinking about?” Donghyuck’s voice breaks the silence, filled only by the gentle hum of the engine and an old tune crackling through the radio. There’s a tentative hand on his thigh – Donghyuck always did love to drive one-handed – the other wrapped around the mint green wheel. Renjun eyes it cautiously, careful to keep his expression calm out of fear Donghyuck might misread it and pull his hand away.

There’s a tear in his blue jeans at the end of his thigh, just before his knee, and the exposed skin looks pale in comparison to Donghyuck’s golden fingers which are splayed out over it. (It’s a nice contrast. A pretty sight, he thinks, only to blush at the thought). Thin slivers of silver like metal moons curl around most of Donghyuck’s fingers, and Renjun smiles for a moment when he realises he was there for the purchasing of every single ring. 

Renjun feels Donghyuck’s eyes on him, glancing just for a moment only to return to the road just as fast. That’s when he remembers there was a question he was supposed to be answering. He blinks, peeling his eyes away from his leg to stare out the window again. They’re close to the beach now and Renjun can see the ocean, can see the way it looks more like sparkling magenta than water as it sparkles in the sunlight. 

“Not much, really,” Renjun responds, clearing his throat immediately after because his voice sounds raspy. A smile quirks at the corner of Donghyuck’s mouth (that’s a pretty sight, too). “I was just watching the sunset.”

Donghyuck sighs half-heartedly. “I wish I could see it, too.”

For a moment Renjun is confused and then he realises Donghyuck is simply making another one of his mildly unfunny jokes, his eyes glued to the road while he anticipates Renjun’s reaction. A laugh does escape his lips against his will, because the joke was just that bad, but he compensates by whacking Donghyuck’s shoulder, making the other boy yelp. (The hand never leaves his thigh, though).

Only moments later they’re pulling into a very familiar car park, mostly empty save for a few lone vehicles and a whole lot of sand that had wandered too far from the shore. Both boys are hasty to unbuckle their seatbelts and hop out of the car, but Renjun supposes that’s just the combined effect of a saturday evening and the dwindling light they only have an hour or so left to chase. 

Renjun closes the car door, Donghyuck locks it and they’re heading over the dune that remains as the only division between them and the sea. The walk over the small sandy hill is comfortable, the kind of silence that is only possible because of years of friendship and shared memories. 

Despite the pretty view, Renjun finds that his eyes keep drifting back to Donghyuck where he walks slightly ahead of him. The other boy’s eyes are trailing the small weedy daisies which decorate the sandbed, covering the ground in bursts of yellow and green. There’s an excited sparkle in his eye, and it reminds Renjun so painfully of a much smaller Donghyuck. Just the two of them, like they are now, playing by the shore until the sun sets and their parents are calling them to go home.

Except now they’re older, and there’s no one around to tell them that it’s too late to be out. They’re not the same children they were back then, with big hearts and even bigger dreams. They’re the people they always hoped to be, both pursuing their respective dreams in university like they’d always wanted to. (Renjun gets like this sometimes, nostalgic, especially in the small moments). He smiles to himself. 

The moment is lost though as the sand begins to slope downward again toward the beachfront. Soon the dunes are behind them and all Renjun can see in either direction is a beach that stretches for miles, headlands towering in the distance. They remind Renjun of the lionturtles his grandmother talked about when he was little. 

Donghyuck’s hand brushes against his, their fingers grazing for only a moment and that’s when Renjun realises how close he and the other boy are. He isn’t given much time to dwell on it, however, because soon Donghyuck is pulling away and unrolling the picnic blanket. 

It flaps helplessly around in the wind for a while and Donghyuck’s usual resolve diminishes as he tries to tame it with little success. Renjun finds himself laughing at his friend, the kind of laughter that has him clutching at his stomach painfully. Eventually he submits to helping, grabbing the corners so that they can lower it to the sand in unison. (The blanket is big, but not _that_ big, Renjun realises. Perhaps his heart flutters but he’ll never admit it). 

They settle down on the fabric, Donghyuck facing the sea and Renjun facing Donghyuck. Renjun can’t see the waves but he can hear them crashing against the shore, and he prefers this view anyway. Donghyuck’s hair is a faded shade of honey brown that matches the golden of his skin as he basks in the dwindling evening light. His legs are splayed out in front of him, one leg bent and his weight resting on the palms behind him, his fingers curling into the sand. 

Renjun traces the sharp angle of his jaw and the moles which decorate his neck only to move over the badges on his leather jacket and the rips in his jeans. It all feels rather like a dream, really, but that doesn’t surprise Renjun. At this point, after many years, he had become very used to recurring dreams of Donghyuck. Images and memories and fantasies of the other boy dancing behind his eyelids, disappearing as soon as he wakes, a reminder that they’re just that. Dreams. 

Suddenly Donghyuck smiles. Renjun realises he’s staring. There’s a peculiar look in Donghyuck’s eye, something mischievous sparkling there. There’s no other way to describe it other than knowing. What Donghyuck knows, though, Renjun isn’t sure. 

“What are you staring at?” Donghyuck teases, his voice light even though they both know Renjun has been caught out. In his usual response, Renjun rolls his eyes and sighs exasperatedly, in the way he knows Donghyuck loves. The way that only satisfies Donghyuck’s burning desire to tease him further. 

They had always been caught in this cycle of Donghyuck teasing Renjun until he snaps, purely because Donghyuck apparently finds an angry Renjun to be a cute Renjun. (The fiery rage burning in his chest says otherwise, but nothing seems to convince the other boy so. Every time he’s angry Donghyuck always does the wrong thing; he smiles and he coos).

“I wasn’t staring, idiot,” Renjun bites back, dropping from where he was sitting cross legged until he’s laying down, head resting on Donghyuck’s thigh. Above him Donghyuck is still smiling, and a moment later his hand is coming to run through Renjun’s hair. Despite the view of the stars, which tentatively reveal themselves as the sun sinks lower in the sky, Renjun’s eyes flutter closed and he hums in content.

It’s a comfortable silence that falls, and Renjun listens to the waves and the cawing of birds which take flight for the last time that evening. He listens to Donghyuck’s gentle humming under his breath, that voice he had come to adore so much, so familiar and warm. Like home. (Home had always been a sound, Renjun realises). 

At some point Donghyuck’s hands wander from where they had been playing with his hair to trace the outline of his jaw. The touch tickles and Renjun squirms slightly which makes Donghyuck giggle. Then the other boy’s fingers are trailing lower, finding purchase on the small chain which hangs around Renjun’s neck. 

Donghyuck plays with it absentmindedly, still humming, and Renjun’s eyes are no longer closed. How could they be, when Donghyuck is only a few inches away and looking like that? As if he were made as much for the summertime as the sun itself, or the daisies he had been so fascinated by earlier. What makes Donghyuck any different from them, Renjun isn’t sure.

“Hey, Jun?” Donghyuck is asking softly, and despite the gentle tone Renjun almost jumps. He had been so lost in his own reverie he had almost forgotten that this wasn’t a dream. 

“Mm?” Renjun hums in response, largely to avoid using actual words which would require some semblance of calm. His heart is racing in his chest and he wills it to quiet. There’s really no need to feel nervous, Donghyuck is his best friend, but sometimes he gets like this. Okay, if he’s being honest then it’s less like sometimes and more like often. 

“Can I ask you something?” Donghyuck cocks his head to the side as if to get a better look at Renjun. Said boy meets his gaze, although it’s a little hard, because he has always found those golden eyes so pretty. 

“Of course,” he manages to get out, and if it’s more a whisper than a statement, Donghyuck doesn’t seem to notice. Despite all his teasing Donghyuck knows when to stop, and that’s exactly why Renjun had never felt anything short of comfortable being himself around the other boy. (That’s what makes their friendship so special).

“Do you believe in soulmates?” comes the question. If Renjun is being honest, he has no idea what he had been expecting Donghyuck to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. It then strikes him that despite being someone who has thought about this admittedly very deeply, it’s something he’s never spoken to Donghyuck about. In fact, now that he thinks about it, he can recall talking to Jeno about it, to Jaemin and Mark, too. Hell, even Chenle and Jisung. And yet, he’s never spoken to Donghyuck about it before. His best friend.

Perhaps it wouldn’t phase anyone other than him, but there’s something so peculiar about it, something that he can’t quite grasp. The confusion must be visible on his face because he can feel Donghyuck’s eyes on him, watching him carefully from his position above.

“Oh, you don’t?” Donghyuck is quick to ask, his tone surprised, taken aback almost. As if there had been something vulnerable lying beneath his previous question. As if he had been baring himself to Renjun in a way the latter boy hadn’t realised. Renjun is quick to reassure.

“No, no,” he tries, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. Why had it suddenly become so difficult to think? “It’s not that.”

They’re both quiet for a few moments, and Renjun can tell that despite that way Donghyuck’s body visibly relaxed at his words, he’s still waiting. There’s a certain tension in the air.

“I do believe in soulmates, actually,” Renjun says finally when he finds the words, finds the clarity. Eventually his mind stops whirring and he brings himself back to this moment, to the feeling of the picnic blanket beneath his body and the warm leg beneath his head.

“You do?” Donghyuck asks, sounding hopeful. Renjun’s hand drops to his side as the need to rub at his brows no longer remains. Instead he looks at the other boy, who despite the ever fading sun still manages to glow. He looks just like Renjun remembers, like this, youthful and full of light.

“Of course. Do you?” Renjun questions, to which Donghyuck nods quickly. His eyes are lighting up again, all hesitance gone, as his gaze drifts out to the line of the ocean.

“I do. I believe in fate, too. I think everything happens for a reason, and so there must be someone we’re destined to end up with, right?” 

As the other boy finishes, his gaze drops once more, finding Renjun’s eyes that never left his.

“Yeah,” Renjun trails off. He completely agrees but something about hearing those particular words coming from Donghyuck’s lips and not anyone else’s is enough to make his heart flutter in his chest and the breath escape his lungs. “I know what you mean.”

There’s a pause again, one that has Renjun almost squirming because it’s uncharacteristically uncomfortable for them. They had spent many evenings just like this, watching the sun set over the ocean with little other than each other for company. They would talk of their dreams and desires, argue about politics and reminisce on their childhood together. Despite the unfortunate way Donghyuck always managed to make Renjun blush, it had never once been uncomfortable between them.

Then, as the air suddenly clears, Renjun realises that he’s had this thought before.

“I believe in soulmates because everything on this planet, living or not, is made of stardust, right? And what if you and another person happen to be made from the same particles of stardust? Born from the same dying planet in a galaxy far away? If that’s true, why wouldn’t soulmates exist?”

Renjun finishes with a question that he doesn’t really expect an answer to, and Donghyuck knows that, too. To his relief, the silence that falls is comfortable again, although it feels as if he can hear the cogs turning in Donghyuck’s head.

“That’s really beautiful, Renjun,” the other boy says through an exhale, and Renjun glances up to find his eyes are glossy and unfocused. The hand that had been playing with the chain at his neck recedes slightly, trailing down his shoulder and then arm until Donghyuck is lifting his hand and interlacing their fingers between them.

His heart is hammering in his chest at the contact, because something about it feels so intimate. It’s silent, save for the waves and the birds, and all Renjun can focus on is the heat radiating from Donghyuck’s golden skin where it meets his.

Time elapses at an alarming rate and the sun is dangerously close to saying its final goodbyes for the day. Renjun has almost forgotten what they had spoken about, his mind wandering back to a particularly fond early morning spent cooking pancakes in Donghyuck’s apartment after an all nighter movie marathon they pulled for the umpteenth time that holiday. It was only a few months ago and yet it feels so impossibly far away.

“You asked me earlier if I believe in soulmates,” Donghyuck’s voice cuts through the silence eventually, promptly pulling Renjun back to the present. He almost jumps in surprise as the sound reverberates through his body from the contact. That’s when he notices that they're still holding hands.

After a moment, Donghyuck continues. “Well, how could I not?”

“What do you mean?” Renjun asks quickly, confused.

“Oh–” Donghyuck cuts himself off, as if only now realising that he had said those words aloud, and that Renjun had also heard them. Renjun had heard them alright, but that didn’t mean that he was any less confused.

“Donghyuck?”

The other boy is silent for a long while, chewing on his bottom lip with those same unfocused eyes again. He looks more agitated than Renjun has seen him look since, well, since final exams last year. That concerns him, and so Renjun pulls himself up, immediately missing the intimacy of being close to Donghyuck as he turns to face the other boy.

Donghyuck is still staring out to sea, a rather visible dilemma occurring on his face.

“Donghyuck?” Renjun tries again, hearing the way his own voice sounds concerned. His eyes dart back and forth between Donghyuck’s face and his fidgeting hands as he waits. Then, in a sudden shift, Donghyuck stops.

His eyes flutter closed (Renjun watches the way his pretty long eyelashes fan over his cheeks) and he takes a deep breath. When they open again his eyes are on Renjun this time, focused and clear. His hands are still and his gaze is determined. (It could be the dwindling sunlight but Renjun swears he can see a blush on the other boy’s cheeks).

“Renjun, there’s something I need to tell you,” Donghyuck says, his gaze unwavering as if that sentence alone isn’t enough to completely unravel Renjun. There’s arguably nothing more ominous someone could say to another, and so he hangs off every beat of silence as Donghyuck chooses his next few words.

“I don’t want this to change things between us,” the way his voice sounds makes Renjun’s heart break in his chest. It’s firm and unmistakably Donghyuck, but there’s something hiding beneath it, too. Something Renjun has never heard in Donghyuck’s voice before – uncertainty. “But this has been going on for a long time and I need to tell you. I can’t keep this inside of me any longer.”

“What is it?” Renjun hears himself ask, not knowing what else to say. 

His mind and heart are racing a million miles an hour to try and understand what is going on, what Donghyuck could possibly say to change things between them.

“I like you, Renjun,” he hears Donghyuck say, although it’s closer to a whisper. “I have liked you for a long time, and I don’t mean just as friends,” he pauses, his eyes no longer meeting Renjun’s as his words slowly sink in.

Renjun feels his own eyes widen in surprise, his heart almost coming to a standstill in his chest as Donghyuck looks up again and he manages to catch his gaze. The gaze that belongs to the boy his heart has yearned for for longer than he can remember.

Donghyuck looks like he has something more to say, his lips still parted slightly, and Renjun can do nothing but wait.

The waves crash against the shore.

“I’m _in_ love with you.”

Renjun inhales, and then exhales, breathing as if that might provide some semblance of clarity where he feels like his mind has gone blank. Words evade him as he blinks back at Donghyuck, who watches him with wide eyes that almost look wild, as if the confession clawed its way out of his throat and he could do nothing to stop it. He waits, though, sitting in silence as his eyes search Renjun’s for some answer.

“Donghyuck,” he tries, the strength in his voice surprising even him. Without thinking Renjun’s hands seek out Donghyuck’s own, and despite the vulnerability lingering in the other boy’s eyes he embraces the touch without hesitating. Renjun takes the moment to think of how to phrase his thoughts.

“Donghyuck,” he tries again when he finally finds the right words. “I can’t believe I never realised how much of an idiot you are.”

He’s laughing, exasperated, and if anything Donghyuck looks more confused. Confused, not hurt, but that doesn’t stop him from making an offended sound and momentarily recoiling from Renjun’s touch (although his hands do wander back only a few moments later).

“I mean,” Renjun tries to clarify, once he’s finally able to stop laughing at his own poor choice of words. “You must be an idiot if you haven’t noticed that I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

There’s another silence that falls, not tense like the one before but just as palpable, as if Renjun can hear it as loud as the birds chirping as they fly overhead. Donghyuck blinks, the wild look in his eye dissipating with every breath that leaves his lips and Renjun watches as more confusion blooms on his face in its place.

“You,” the other boy tries, his eyes flitting back and forth between Renjun’s eyes and lips. “You what?”

“You heard me.”

“I did, but really?” Donghyuck looks less confused now, more curious. His head tilts to the side and he imperceptibly leans closer. It’s just one of his mannerisms, moving closer as if quite literally to hear better, and it’s something only Renjun would notice. Renjun, because when it comes to Donghyuck, he doesn’t miss a single detail.

“Yes, really,” Renjun admits, and for once when it comes to the other boy he looks him in the eye, for once not feeling the urge to look away. He would always get like that, unable to truly meet that pair of golden eyes which reminded him so much of all things sweet, of laughter and summertime. This time, though, he doesn’t look away. Neither does Donghyuck.

And it feels good to say it out loud, Renjun realises. Like a weight off his chest, to finally admit the truth. Donghyuck had been Renjun’s best friend since they were small, and he always thought that he managed to not let his feelings get in the way. That he was okay with being just friends, and that it didn’t hurt him to think of Donghyuck being with someone else.

Renjun realises now that none of that was ever true.

And now Donghyuck is looking at him, and for the first time in his life he sees Donghyuck in a new light. A light that glimmers like a sunrise on the horizon, the light of a new day, the chance for renaissance. Where the other boy had always been summer, the idea of the two of them together suddenly feels impossibly like spring.

And that’s what it feels like, too, when Donghyuck closes the distance between them only moments later. Warm, Renjun realises. Donghyuck is warm. Not just that, but he tastes like honey, a fact which intrigues Renjun. It’s the answer to a question that part of him has been dying to know, and it has him deepening the kiss, sighing when Donghyuck licks over his lip and into his mouth.

They fit together so well, Renjun’s lips below Donghyuck’s, and it’s everything and nothing like a younger Renjun had imagined. In one moment, Donghyuck is wrapping a hand around Renjun’s waist and pulling him closer until they’re tumbling to the blanket in a mess of limbs and laughter.

Donghyuck _f_ _eels_ just as warm where their torsos are pressed against each other, and every part of Renjun melts into the other boy’s touch, like a moth to the light. They stay like that for a while longer, kissing and exploring each other’s mouths like the push and pull of the ocean, like a bird navigating something new and unknown.

Except, it’s not really unknown, is it? Renjun knows Donghyuck better than he knows himself, and so this feels more like uncovering another side of him, one that had always been waiting to be found.

They break apart when the sun finally dips below the horizon after a long battle with the night. The sky is no longer shades of blue and pink, but rather an intense orange, like a flame refusing to die out. It’s dark, everything cast in shadow, and the air is colder than Renjun would like it to be. (Although, it does make a nice excuse for him to lean even more into Donghyuck’s lean frame).

“We should go,” Donghyuck is saying, all though it’s not all that convincing because his voice is laced with remorse. Despite that fact, they both know he’s right, because soon even the orange will die out and they’ll be left in the darkness with nothing but the chirping of crickets for company.

And so to that end they shake the sand off the picnic blanket and roll it up, trudging back over the sand dune toward the carpark and bidding the beach farewell. Except, this time, they’re hand in hand.

It’s not until they’re sitting inside Donghyuck’s car again – said boy’s hands on the wheel but making no move to start the engine – that one of them speaks. Renjun hadn’t even noticed the silence, it felt so normal.

“What do we do?” Donghyuck asks, his head turning so that their eyes meet. There’s uncertainty shimmering in them again, less than before but still there nonetheless if he looks close enough. It’s in that moment that Renjun also notices the pretty shade of rouge on the other boy’s cheeks.

Renjun smiles. “What do you mean?”

“What do you want us to be?”

Renjun only pretends to think for a moment, because who is he kidding? The boy you’ve been in love with for years confesses his love and you have to _think_ about what you want to be?

“I want us to be us,” Renjun responds, hand reaching over the space between them until it finds one of Donghyuck’s. He rubs soothing circles into the other boy’s golden skin. “We’ve always been together, Donghyuck. I think we can learn how to be together in this new way, too.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck nods after a moment, that gorgeous smile Renjun had missed so much making its way to his lips, like the morning sun bursting out over the sea, bringing light to a new day.

“Okay,” Renjun agrees.

And that’s how Renjun finds his lips slotting against Donghyuck’s once more, only for a brief but breathtaking moment before Donghyuck pulls away with a smile, starting the car and reversing out of the car park, both of them now smiling like two idiots as music fills the small space.

It’s also how Renjun finds himself, and Donghyuck too, screaming the lyrics to their favourite song at the top of their lungs, driving at a ridiculous speed down the highway as Donghyuck pulls back the convertible roof and Renjun is standing in his seat, the cold air colliding with his body and his arms outspread as if he were flying.

_And we’re changing our ways,_

_Taking different roads._

_Love, love will tear us apart again,_

_Love, love will tear us apart again._

**Author's Note:**

> the setting of this story is based on the beach i spent my summers and winters by as a child ♡ also if you caught the reference to avatar the last airbender, i love you. if you didn’t, i still love you. also don't speed please !!
> 
> thank you for reading everyone, i hope you liked it ! if you did, please leave a kudos or let me know in the comments !!
> 
> to haru once again, i love you. happy birthday bb! 🌸
> 
> please check out this [carrd](https://yemencrisis.carrd.co/) to know more about what's going on in yemen. even just signing a petition and sharing it with others makes a difference!
> 
> find me ♡ [twitter](https://twitter.com/ophelialilies) & [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ophelialilies)


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